In the Socket

 

I've been told that I'm persistent, and I agree with that. I've been told that I'm determined, and I also agree with that. Add proactive and independent to the list, too. Independence was my green light to do things without hesitation, and my proactive nature caused me to halt many of the nonsense I started before it derailed, burst into flames, and died. I'm not sure if my persistence or determination caused me to do some of the ridiculous things I did when I was young, though. I'll chalk it up to being an innocent child and give myself a pass.

Daily I heard, "don't touch that," which came from my parents. Most times I complied because my daddy's belt was the king of discipline. The one thing that held power over me and always trumped my parents and the belt, was an electrical outlet. Wall sockets always smiled at me in our 22nd Street apartment and I knew I heard them call my name. 

"Come here, Niecy." 

"Niecy, I'm bored. Come talk to me."

"Wanda Denise Hudson! Little girl, you know you want to be my friend."

Hearing my full name was a call to action. It wanted to play with me. A friendly game of tag, you're it, was all the socket required.

I don't remember how I knew that I wasn't supposed to stick anything in the socket, I just knew not to do it. I have always been talkative and friendly, and even though the sockets were off limit,  they would not be denied the opportunity of getting to know me.

How did I know my mother's sewing scissors would fit perfectly in the socket? I'll call it natural knowledge. Or better yet, common sense. The kind of common sense to know it was wrong but not common enough to know not to do it. That's confusing...

I can see myself as I type this. I was on my knees in me and my brother's room, directly in front of the outlet. Yah'll, I tell no lies when I say that thing smiled at me! I inched closer, leaned forward and slowly moved my left hand, which held the scissors, closer to it's mouth. Why did I move so slow? Was it because I knew something would or would not happen? The real question is why didn't I stop? Because the socket wanted to be my friend, that's why!

Well, well, well...the tip of the scissors walked into the socket's house, and the lyrics from DJ Jazzy Jeff and the Fresh Prince' song played for me before they knew it would be a hit for them.

Boom, shake shake shake the room, boom, shake shake shake the room, boom, shake shake shake the room, tick, tick, tick, tick, boom!

The socket thrust me back forcefully while saying, "Uh, uh, little girl, we will have none of that breaking and entering up in here!"

"What? I thought you wanted to be my friend! I don't get it..."

I think I was airborne for a good 3 seconds and then I hit the floor hard, on my back. I don't know how long I was unconscious for. I'm cracking up now as I'm writing this!

I opened my eyes to see my mother standing over me.

"Niecy..."

When I was older and could understand, my mother told me the lights flickered, went black, BOOM, and then came back on. She knew I'd done something. I was always doing something. She walked up the stairs and came into the room to see me laying on my back. My arms and legs were spread wide in preparation for making a snow angel. I heard a low gasp when she saw the scissors. They lay a few inches from my left hand with the tip emitting a low singed ember.

We can read that I didn't die, nor was I physically hurt. My feelings were shook up due to the socket violating our friendship. My mother helped me up off the floor and told me not to touch her scissors again. Shock and gratitude probably stopped her from saying anything else. Thankfully, my father wasn't home. He would've torn my tail all the way up! I'll tell yah'll about my crayon incident one day. Oooooooooweeeeeee...

The saying, in the pocket, is what we use when that thing fits. In baseball, the ball is thrown and secure in the glove, in the pocket. When that happens the person on deck probably struck out. Musicians play in the pocket and we hear a beat like no other. Listen to James Brown for complete understanding. When we're in sync and everything lines up for us, our world is in the pocket. Perfection.

During an eighth-grade group discussion regarding various relationships, the teacher said men and women fit together like a plug in a socket. I think on that at times and wonder, will they continue to fit when the socket has a boom reaction?

Life is full of socket experiences. We identify them with the simple phrase of, "What happened?"

One minute, everything is rolling along smoothly. Your job. Your finances. Your relationship. And then, BOOM. The shock of your life happens and knocks you out! One sucker punch to the gut that takes your next few breaths. It shows no mercy and leaves you smoking with no explanation required.

What causes us to have an, in the socket, experience? Some call it temptation. When I hear the word temptation I think of illicit behavior. Dirty things that you bet not tell nobody. A feel good dirty that's not so good for you. A dirty that you don't want to get clean from. Did the socket tempt me or did I tempt myself? I was a child, so I'll go with curious. Dang...curiosity killed the cat. I don't want to die as a result of  being curious or illicit behavior. Then again, some things aren't temptation or curiosity. They're just there.

Examine yourself. Are you aiming for sockets and are full aware and know of the shock that's waiting just for you after the initial thrill? The adrenaline rush? Will you continue to aim and hope that you recover from the delicate ticks? Being a little shook up never hurt nobody, right? Just ask a boxer. They take some heavy hitter jabs and get a break when the bell rings. Eventually the bout is over - do they suffer any consequences after 10 rounds of boom?

The general consensus is that when we know better, we do better. Some of us know better and do different, which doesn't necessarily mean better, just different. Same MO, same game plan, but you recruited "better" players. When it doesn't work the boom of the socket, or the, "What happened", is always your fault that you aren't comfortable taking responsibility for, so off to the next socket you go.

100% honesty for me; I'm still aiming. Why? Curiosity, not temptation. Insert your favorite quotes here-

• "Nothing beats a failure but a try."
• "An excuse is a reason for nothing."
• "If at once you don't succeed, try again."
• "The only thing we have to fear is fear itself."
• "Go ahead and do it, Wanda. Just do it." - I made that one up.

Be honest with yourself and reality check your connections. What are you plugged in to or attempting to receive a surge from? Is it welcoming? Were you invited? Do you fit in the socket comfortably, or is there a BOOM waiting patiently for you?

I luv you.

Defensive Line

The way we think about current experiences or remember past situations, will at times, bring a smile to our face. This BLOG came about due to a simple picture. Nothing grand or spectacular to shout about, just a picture of a golden yellow kitten.

I was at work and had the pleasure (yes, work can be pleasurable) of viewing a magazine with a kitten on the cover. The kitten transported my mind back to an afternoon in 1970. My mother cleaned house for a white family, and since I only attended school for half-days, I went with her. I won't add that in the 80's my mother told me that their house was nasty. It wasn't nasty because they were white, it was nasty because they were nasty. Oh, I wasn't going to add that part...oops.

My family lived on 22nd Street in Niagara Falls and I shared a room with my brother. A 4 year old girl who longed for a life of luxury - yeah, right, going to a house where another little girl had her own room fit for a princess was life! I can't remember the family or the girl's name, but her room was fancy to me. She had a pink bedroom and her bed had a pink comforter with pillows that were covered in lace. The room also had a rocking chair, dolls and more toys than I had ever seen. We weren't po', but dang, she had stuff.

She also had kittens. I usually exaggerate the story by saying there were at least 450 kittens. This will forever be visible, so I'll tell the truth and say there were 3 kittens. Still, when I tell it live, it may be 4 to 50'leven kittens. 

What child wouldn't want to play with a pet? My daddy didn't buy our first daschund, Schultz, until I was 5, so those kittens were going to get all the love my 4 year old heart had to give.

How was I supposed to know the kittens didn't want love? Nobody told me that you shouldn't corner a kitten, cat or any animal. Man, I got jacked up!

The kittens crawled under the little girl's bed to get away from me and I wasn't having any of their escape tactics. I lay flat on my stomach and slid forward to pull them out. My sliding forward terrified them, causing them to move backwards. When their backsides hit the wall they had no where to go. Attack!

Those kittens tore me up! Kitten claws and teeth bit my face, hands and neck. I didn't think to slide backwards but I did think to scream. Have you ever paid attention to how loud a child is? If you have a high tolerance for noise, listen to any random child's voice. It's annoying and especially loud when you're not the parent of the child.

The kittens tore me up for 30 minutes (not really, it was only a few seconds, but I digress) before I felt the little girl's mother grab my feet and slide me from under the bed. Oooooooooweeeeeee, traumatic...

Memories are always a beautiful thing when you learn something about yourself and realize, hey, maybe you're not so bad after all. Defensive line.

The kittens had a defensive line. Everyone has a defensive line. I have a defensive line. The question is, is there a right and/or a wrong way to protect your line?

Sports teams have a defensive squad and their job is to stop the invasion by all means necessary. You will not score on my watch. 

Is that how you view your life? Are you always on the defense? Is life always coming for you? Who attempted to or has crossed your line? By what means did you deem, all means necessary,  to stop them?

Sometimes its "us" or "you", and the choices "we" make that cause the issue. Sometimes people like to "see" what will happen when the bear is poked. If your reaction is the same as the kittens, the culprit always views you as the problem. If you do nothing, you're weak or soft. Still, you and we have a right to protect our boundaries. Don't cross the line and "make" or "force" a Hulk like experience - "Don't make me angry. You won't like me when I'm angry."

I didn't get mad at the kittens for violating my face. I cried and whined while the white lady consoled me. My mother was just about tired of my loud mouth and most likely couldn't wait for my daddy to pick us up.

"I told you to leave them alone!"

Now I realized that I embarrassed her, but at the time, I was 4, tore up, and was not able to understand. Up in the white man's house cuttin' up a fool. One time I flipped the rocking chair over trying to make it take off like a swing on the playground. Cuttin' up a whole fool...😂

Adults tend to get mad at the person who they crossed the line with. Believing that they are never wrong doesn't help either. Ask yourself are you "that" person, or are you "that" person?

Two things that I've learned from this memory are, 1. I do like kittens and cats, I just don't want one. The other is you have the right to protect yourself. Not saying you should blast everyone, just saying protect your defensive line. 

If you've bulldozed your way into someone's space and happen to be the recipient of grown up kitten claws, don't get mad and don't get even. Get some get right up in you and keep on living. If you've been bulldozed, forgive and keep on living. Either way the common denominator is to keep on living.

I luv you.

My forever wittle babies, Schultz, Fritz and Frank❤