Death Does NOT Become Her

 

I’m not sure of the date, but I wrote this in the latter part of 2017, most likely during the month of August, September or October. Recently, I flipped through my study Bible and saw that I wrote the date 8/13/17 in the book of 2 Kings 4:7 - 5:1. In my study Bible the chapter titles are,                 

1. Elisha Raises the Shunammite's Son.

2. Elisha Purifies the Pot of Stew.

3. Elisha Feeds One Hundred Men.

4. Naaman’s Leprosy Healed.

Written across the top of the two pages are simple words, posed as a question to myself. What has God given me and I’m watching it die?

Sporadic thoughts travel through my mind similar to a sniper rapidly firing in a failed professional attempt to hit the target. The sniper knows if the bullseye is not met, they will be the next. Deemed a failure, or the ultimate – sent to the undertaker without a chance to notify their next of kin. Okay, wait, it’s not that bad. I think I should stop watching hitman movies late at night.

I’ve read the chapters a few times and cannot figure out or remember why I wrote those words in that chapter. I ask myself what has God given me?  Am I watching it die? What is the state of your mind in to allow yourself to sit and watch something die? You have to do something. Try something. Call for help. Watch it die? No, that’s not me at all.

Proactive. Productive. Persevere. Pounce. Push.

It could be that I am in yet another shift. Yes, that’s it. The P-Shift. Last night I woke up from  a deep sleep, a calling the hogs kind of sleep. I can’t recall if I was dreaming, but I sat up, grabbed my phone and typed the words, peace,(heavy on the peace) prosperity (heavy on the prosperity) and purpose (heavy on the purpose).

I stared at the ceiling thinking about my past and dozed off and on trying to figure it out. Questioning myself, and twisting and turning like a broken Rubik’s Cube. Just can’t get right. Answers come from the most beautiful places and always on time Basically, everything is not that deep. Everything is not a 10,000 piece puzzle, complete with missing pieces, that has to be put together in one hour. I don’t have to figure it all out because there is nothing to figure out. Just live, Wanda. Just live.

I’m not watching what God has given me die, but I am guilty of not giving it the nourishment it requires. Seeing those words were the signal for me to come out of hibernation. My signal for contentment to move over, mind its business, and stop me from relaxing in someone else’s comfort zone.

What I know for sure is that He will move you away from what is killing you, breathe life into you as He carries you through, and allow you to watch the beauty of you flourish before your eyes.

I luv you.